522

I want you to be able to be your beautiful sassy self without fear or judgement... just acceptance. I love who you are... you are amazing, strong, brave, wonderful, brilliant, talented, loved, worthy... my son... even if you can't see it, I do. You're my jakedaw. There is no one quite like you. I love you to the moon and back kiddo. 💙

Shared with permission of Jessica Urlichs

521

Hey kiddo. Just, wondering how you are doing, if you're ok and what you're up to. Remember I promised you a sky blue bedroom and that it would have stars? Well... it's done! I put some extra special touches for you, and it's all decorated... but I want you to make it your own too. Not much else going on. Making Christmas gifts (just finished yours :D ).

Siya is taking a fan fiction break so she can concentrate on school, and she is writing two books! I think both will be phenomenal. I've gotten to read some of the first, and the premise of the second is brilliant.

John is going to visit his parents for Halloween. They always have lots of trick or treaters 👻 so I think he's going to dress up and pass out candy/scare people. We don't get many here lately. Are you guys dressing up any? Good time to be creepy 😈. You are a master of being creepy. Love you, my creepy kiddo. 💙

Remember... no storm, no darkness, is forever... there is always light, always hope. So hold on, because there is hope at the end of this. There is love. There is light. IT IS YOURS... it is already yours.... come and take it

I love you Jakob, you will always be my son, I will always be your momma, I will always hold you close, and this will always be your home 💙

Momma

520

"The torturous stars
Have taken every breath
I wish I'd held
The love in my heart
Is never ending
-RAIGN: Don't let me go-

I will choose you every single time, and I won't stop. I'm not going anywhere. I will always be here for you. I will always try to be my best for you. I'm all in, heart on my sleeve. You are wanted, you are needed, you are chosen, you are enough... and you are loved. You're my son, and I love you.

Shared with permission of Melissa Neeb

519

Love you mi̱ko, my brilliant beautiful son, love you with everything I am, with all my heart, always. 💙

You're not just my son, you're the reason I never give up 💙


Shared with permission of Amy-Rebel Mom Quotes

514 💙

There isn't a moment that goes by where I'm not thinking of you lovebug... you are always in my thoughts and I'm missing you so fucking much. Every second of every day.

I love you to the moon and back kiddo 💙

Since it's October, which is spooky month, and you love horror... I'm gonna sit here in the dark and scare the crap out of myself watching Weapons. Wish me luck

ROFS, remind you of anything?

513

When the days get hard, don't let them win. Breathe and remember who you are, and who you are, is my amazing, strong, brilliant son... my chaos critter, my sass king, my sarcastic, big hearted, blue eyed, talented, relentless warrior survivor of a son who loves his momma and his friends and is a hellion and a fighter and who is so so very loved and who I am so god damn proud of. You are my hero, my world, and my everything.... and I love you.

I want to spotlight child abuse for just a moment, because it's not always hitting or even screaming, and to many people... it doesn't look like anything at all. Worse even, most of the time victims aren't believed, and the abuser gets sympathy, support, and praise. Believe victims when they tell you, because this type of abuse is as bad or worse than the abuse you can see. There needs to be more laws/help for these kids.

Just to say, kiddo... I don't believe you have either of these things (BPD,bipolar) she's just weaponizing the trauma she caused against you.

Shared with permission of Ryan Daigler

512

Hey kiddo. I'm still here, still with you, still your momma. I love you, I still want you here, still want you as my son, as my own.... and I always will. I'm not giving up on you, not letting go, keeping up hope, because I have faith in you, I believe in you... always have and always will. Love you endlessly

Momma 💙

You deserve to be treasured, and cherished, and appreciated, and kept safe, and lifted up. I've got your back, always 💙

Shared with permission of Melissa Neeb

510

I need you to know that she isn't as powerful as she seems, and you are not as powerless as she's made you feel. She's abusive, and you don't deserve to be the scapegoat anymore, you never did. You deserve freedom, you deserve the love and childhood you should have had, you deserve safety and care. You deserve so much better, so much more.

You are my everything. Love you infinitely , lovebug 💙

509

Remember that you are loved, and you matter. You are brave, and magnificently wonderful, and one day soon I will hug you FR, and we'll go do our bucket list, and I'm going to spoil you rotten cause you deserve it. I love you dear heart, have since the beginning.... and always will.

Momma 💙

Shared with permission of Pretty Painful Grief Books

503

There is nothing more important to me than you, and I will show up every single day for you... so you feel loved, so you feel worthy, so you feel safe, so you know you can count on me no matter what. No matter how messy life gets. More than anything, I want you to feel like you are my whole world. Because you are... you are everything. 

There is lightning and thunder right now... reminds me of you, and siya... and RP 

Abusers are afraid to let you go because that is what you need to start healing... and they could never allow that

Happy happy birthday!!!!

You are not a burden.
You are not unworthy.
You are not too much or difficult to love.
You don't have to earn your place in my life, in this home, in this world. You are my son... You belong here simply because you exist.
Your presence matters.
Your life is precious.
You make this world a better place, and my life better, just by being in it.
You have been through so much, but none of that-none of what you went through-changes this truth: You deserve love and care. Your presence is a privilege and an honour. You can be your beautiful, imperfect self.
You are loved, you are cherished...
And you are every bit worth it.
💙 So please don't sacrifice yourself for abusive people who don't actually love you or deserve you... 

COME FIND ME KIDDO!! Your safety is more important than anything else. There's only one you, and you're my only child. You are irreplaceable dear heart. I love you... can't lose you kiddo, I need you too, so damn much Love you always and forever
Momma 💙

Hey kiddo, happy birthday...

To start... Siya wanted me to tell you she loves you. Now gifts! I got you PJO merch for Christmas, soooooo for your birthday I made you HP merch lol! They're hiding a secret though, for you to find.

I got you various books on engineering, but like, the build fun stuff type

A journal, but it uses craft paper so you can sketch in it too

Siya told me you liked checkers.... so...
It even has a little pouch for the pieces that rolls up inside the board.

And, uhmmmmm, I got you a whale? It's a bracelet, but it comes with info on a whale and you can track him online and see where he's at etc

And finally! I made you an art, of one our favourite rp moments... so get on love, we're going flying

Made you a short video

I'm just going to say that as long as I am alive, you will always be loved, and you will always have a special place in my heart, you will always be my family, and this will always be your home. I'm so proud of you Jakob. I'm not giving up on you... I'm not letting go... not of you, not of hope.. because this is not an impossible dream. We still remain. I'm still here, still your momma, and you will always be my son.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I hope you are ok. I love you, my jakedaw, always have and always will.

On this day, 18 years ago when you were born, this was the NASA picture of the day

 

 17th Birthday
Christmas was ch 219 or 252
Other stuff/sneak peeks 

You are a legal adult at 18, and I know you know how to disappear, lovebug, you get out ok? Come here, or I will come get you. Grab your ID/passport, your meds and some cash. Anything else can be replaced... you are irreplaceable though. She is not worth your life.You are worth so so so much more than that, and you have so many people who love you, and you have a home... a safe place here. *hugs*. Be safe please, remember that there is always hope, and remember I love you.

499

You always deserved love, and safety, and belonging. You were never a burden, you weren't unlovable, you didn't incite the violence that lives in her head... and you damn sure don't have to continue to deal with it. 

Just... know that I will absolutely do anything for you. Fight any fight, burn the whole world... just so you can have the love and care you should have always had.... just to keep you safe. And even if bare minimum is world's better? I'm not going to settle for giving you that. I'm going to try my hardest for you. I might not be perfect, but I'll be the best mom I can be. You deserve nothing less. 

At a base level, all children want love from their parents. You were never given that. Instead you were given abuse, pain, and scars you never ever deserved, and made to feel it was your fault. The people who should have been your shelter became your torturers. You survived although not unchanged. No one could. That doesn't make you weak... it makes you extraordinary. I want you to know that you were always worthy of the love you were denied. Always. And I will spend the rest of my life giving it to you. 💙

498

Hey, kiddo... I love you to the moon and back.
Always and forever will
Hang In there

Momma 💙

494

One week till your birthday! Can you believe it? You'll be 18! I have many gifts for you. I LOVE YOU KIDDO!!!!!! And I miss you bunches, and I'm so proud of you. *super massive hugs*