620

My stupid heart still hopes that one day you will walk through the door and hug me and say "thank you for waiting." Because life is shit without you, I will never accept a life, a world, without you in it. You truly made life and everything better, even the hard parts we faced. I'm so damn grateful to have you as my son... you are worth everything. 

I love you to the moon and back J 💙 

Momma

 

Shared with permission of Pretty Painful Grief Book

607

I think about you every moment of every day. I miss you, and long for just one more conversation, one more hug, one more moment. The silence your absence has left is immeasurable. I don't know how to live this life without you, it seems impossible to do. I don't know what to do. 

Cass said if you didn't come, it was probably because you were stuck in hell. I'm not very brave, but I'd walk into hell for you. I know that much, deep in my soul, I know that much. You're my son, my heart, and I love you more than life, always have and always will. 

Momma 💙

Went to the coast over the weekend. There was a sandcastle competition, I thought it would be fun. Mostly I just got sunburnt.

595

"But I need, Jake to tell you,
That I love you, it never ends... "
-The Irrepressibles, In This Shirt

Love is the only thing that matters my jakedaw. Love is eternal. Love is the most powerful force in the universe. Every morning, every night and every second in between, I miss you. Everyone thinks time heals... that's such a fucking lie. Time doesn't heal... love never dies

Shared with permission of Molly Mattocks

591

Shared with permission of Mae Setrova

This perfectly captures how I feel.
Tomorrow comes for me and my son is still gone and I am still alive and it is terrible

I still reach for you in whatever way I can, how could I not? Like you weren't the most important person in my life.... You are. You absolutely are, and the biggest part of my heart. The person I love and cherish most. Losing you was always my greatest fear.
God... you absolute fucking dumbass

I love you mostest kiddo... and miss you

I could know you for a thousand lifetimes, and still find more reasons to love you 💙

 

Just space stuff cause it's exciting!



Source: NASA

590 We Are Almost To The Moon

Hey kiddo.....
we're going to the moon...

Tomorrow is the day. I know it's not a pegasus, but it'll have to do. It will be carrying my heart and my love for you, to the moon and back 💙

Source: NASA

Our names there, side by side, tucked safe together with the astronauts in the capsule, inside the little plush that indicates gravity. A 10 day trip. I got Artemis themed donuts... just in case one of us gets a craving.

Source: NASA

I wish you were here to watch all of this with me. More than anything in the world, I wish that. I miss you, every second of every day. I love you to the moon and back kiddo. Always have and always will. That will never end.

Momma 💙

578

You are such a gift... everything you are, all the time spent with you, every conversation, every laugh, every message, every single moment was, is, such a gift.
I never want you to lose me. I never wanted to lose you. This is overwhelming, unsurvivable... you can't be gone 

Please come back 

I love you mi̱ko, my lovebug, my jakedaw
Always have and always will 

Momma 

Wherever you may be (and to any of my Muslim readers) I hope you have a blessed Ramadan. 

💙

540

"As long as I live you will
live
As long as I live you will be
remembered
As long as I live you will be
loved"
-unknown-

Hey kiddo.... I know you aren't here to see these, but I've done them for so long now... it felt wrong not to. I'm not really good for much else right now. I wish I was as strong as you always saw me.... but I'm not.. not right now. 

I talk to you sometimes... I mean, I always did, but I guess you can hear me now. I hope your heart is warm and you can feel me holding you. I will always hold you... till my last breath... till the end of time, and I promise you will still get all those hugs I owe you... just have to wait a bit longer I guess. I miss you lovebug, so damn much, and I love you so much the universe can't contain it. You are still my world, my everything... and you always, always, will be. Love you forever, my jakedaw. 

Momma 💙

 

My love for you is bigger than the universe 💙