626

You can always find light in the darkness... light at the end of it all. There is hope there. There is love, and safety, and laughter, and hugs... a home where you matter, where you are wanted, where you don't have to hide and have nothing to prove. One where you can rest... all those things and more, are yours. So hold on, my dearest son, hold on tight to me. I love you, always and forever will... and I'm never letting go.

620

My stupid heart still hopes that one day you will walk through the door and hug me and say "thank you for waiting." Because life is shit without you, I will never accept a life, a world, without you in it. You truly made life and everything better, even the hard parts we faced. I'm so damn grateful to have you as my son... you are worth everything. 

I love you to the moon and back J 💙 

Momma

 

Shared with permission of Pretty Painful Grief Book

612

May you keep finding yourself, a little more each day.
No limits

At the coast again today. I wish you were here with us, more than anything in the world. I miss you so very much 😢

I'll carry you with me every day until my last. I love you J, my jakedaw 💙, more than the sun and the sky and the deep blue sea. Always have and always will

Momma 💙

608

For the briefest of moments you were here and you were mine, and everything was the way it was always supposed to be. I was your mom, I AM your mom, I will never stop being your mom. I will never stop searching for you everywhere and in everything. I will never stop loving you.

Shared with permission of Mia Mae Poetry

607

I think about you every moment of every day. I miss you, and long for just one more conversation, one more hug, one more moment. The silence your absence has left is immeasurable. I don't know how to live this life without you, it seems impossible to do. I don't know what to do. 

Cass said if you didn't come, it was probably because you were stuck in hell. I'm not very brave, but I'd walk into hell for you. I know that much, deep in my soul, I know that much. You're my son, my heart, and I love you more than life, always have and always will. 

Momma 💙

Went to the coast over the weekend. There was a sandcastle competition, I thought it would be fun. Mostly I just got sunburnt.

602

I meant every word I said when I said that I love you. I meant that I love you forever 💙

You'd be graduating HS now... this week or the next? I'm not sure of the date.... but that doesn't matter. What does matter, is that I am so insanely proud of you... no matter what. I wish I could tell you that in person, give you the biggest hug ever. You deserve that much, and so much more. Just know that I've never been prouder... of your accomplishments, of who you are as a person, and to have you as my son. I hope that, wherever you may be, you can feel that, and know how much I love you kiddo.

Momma 💙

Shared with permission of Mia Mae Poetry

600

All my prayers beg one singular thing...
Please come back 💔

We went to a train park I found and rode the little trains. I'd been super excited to take you there, especially after Si told me about Didcot. They had an actual functional steam train, and I know they are your favorite, so I rode that one for you. I even got you a little train conductor plushie, he's a little wolf.. Now he's sitting with Bambi and the doomslugs.... I know you would love him, and the trains 💙

Gods, I miss you my little jakedaw, and I love you forever 💙

Shared with permission of Mia Mae Poetry