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I made Dawn a little raccoon with a yellow flower purse. It's kind of super adorable. I've been planning with Cass and Siya, crochet stuffies for all of her siblings and little cousins... everything from the HP Grimm, to huggable fruit, bees and bats and sea creatures and unicorns. It's fun, and while I love it, man... it's just not the same without you.

I miss you horribly. You are such a bright shining light in my life, my beautiful boy, you are the one thing that I am absolutely, unshakably, 1000000000000% certain of. Not a single doubt in my mind or heart. You've changed me and I don't want the old me, who wasn't your mom, back... I left her down in hell, locked the door and destroyed the keys. I'm a better me because of you... and I owe you everything. I wish I was stronger for you... but I will fight for you. Don't tell me you are not worth fighting for... I would give it all, I would sacrifice everything, for you.

You matter so much to me, love, to so many people. You are my home, my family, my son... and I love you.

I know I worry too much sometimes, and I'm sorry, especially for the times I freak out a bit. I'm trying to do better though, for you. I hope you are ok, and I love you so damn much.