Gods I miss you....  so much.

I love you mi̱ko, endlessly.

💙🫂💙

I'm officially making Thursday, throwback Thursday.  It'll be fun....  and embarrassing... for me.

So happy halloween and here's, what.... 11-12 year old me??? Fuck IDK, anyway... here's me as Cleopatra for halloween.  Enjoy, laugh even.  I don't mind... in fact, that's the point. 😌💙

A room where the ocean meets the night sky, and all the stars are spun of love and precious things, all for you. Love you dear heart.
 

Excuse me while I have a righteous mom anger moment.

The only parents that force their children to make promises like that, are abusers. That isn't normal, that isn't support, that isn't love. It's abuse, it's control, it's manipulation and isolation. I won't stand for it, and you do not have to keep it. You are a person worthy of unconditional love and unending support and compassion. You are not her fucking scapegoat puppet, you aren't anyone's thing to control. You are my son, and you are worthy and deserving of everything good, every kindness, respect, overflowing love, every bit of support and help that lifts you up, not drags you down into the dark. I won't abandon you in the dark. I'm never letting go. 

Never letting go... what it means when I tell you that. There is a huge difference between us (me and her). Where one means chained and imprisoned by control... the other would be a supportive and encouraging hug that is always there when you need it, and is still there, softly in the background, when you don't. It means always being there for you, never giving up, being the best I can be for you. Because you deserve that. You do. I love you kiddo, and you will never, ever, lose my love. Mom for life.

I want you to always feel loved, that you are safe with me, and that you can be the person you are without any fear. I want you to know that you matter, that you are important, that you are cherished, that I am here for you, that you are my family. I want you to know that you don't have to earn these things, they will always be yours. 

I will always be that proud parent now

 

You should watch The Wild Robot    

Just goats in halloween costumes....

Wondering if you guys are doing halloween/dressing up... and if you do, get some photos and save them for me! 

You can do this, we can do this. I know you can. I believe in you. Love you kiddo. 

No fireworks during tonights movie thankfully... cause it was proper creepy.

I love you kiddo... more than there are stars in every fucking universe.  There is nothing you could do that would ever make me love you less.

Saw a post on twitter that mentioned pillow forts and damn if I'm not totally down for that.

Adding the Rice Museum to the list...  it's not what you think... also it's really close by.  I've never been but everyone who has, loves it.  I'll just say, Toby would love it.

Also...  watching horror movies until November, and some asshat set off large fireworks because reasons?  I might have lost a couple of years off my life and gained 50 grey hairs.

I have so much I want to give you, so much I want to make up for. You deserve the world, you deserve all the love, and hugs, and happiness.  And I would do everything in my power to give it to you.  I don't care about anything else.  I always promised you I was going to hold on, and never let go.... that I would always love you no matter what...  and I intend to keep that promise.  You will get those hugs.

I'm dying ROFLMAO 🤣
From the Oregon voter's pamphlet

(follow the instructions at the end)
We salute you Michael Selvaggio, you mad lad genius. 🫡  

You ever bite into a hot slice of pizza and absolutely destroy the roof of your mouth? Yeah..... the bigger lesson here though, is don't eat anything with salt on it later... trust me on this. 😭

Just to say, I am so furiously proud of you.
Love you more than the universe could ever contain dear heart. 💙

Not permanent though, you are not broken, and you have me now, we just have to get you here.