tired has made me sappy.
Idk, I feel the need to say things cause I feel like I don't say them enough, even though I tell you every day...
I wanted you to know that you will never lose me. I will try my hardest to be here for you, always, of course I will, I'm your real mom after all, and this is and will always be your home.... and I also wanted to say that... I am so incredibly proud of you, my mi̱ko, and that I love you, so very much, unconditionally....and I'm not going anywhere, and I'll send you hugs and love every damn day for the rest of my stupid life.

Got a song for you kiddo
Rise by The Fever Dreams
(Spotify link)
Actually that whole playlist updated, although I think it duplicated some songs so I need to clean it up a bit.

I'm guessing you are in the middle of (or are about to be) exams so wanted to send extra hugs! love you to the moon and back kiddo
💙🫂💙🫂🫂💙💙💙🫂💙🫂🫂💙💙💙💙🫂💙🫂

Today the advent calendar had gnomes



Yes, I bit their heads off first 😈

Ps: exams are hard, don't stress too much over them. I'm proud of you no matter what grade you get. As for her, keep yourself safe and try not to let her bullshit get to you. You, my dear, are never ever a disappointment, and never will be. So hold onto that in your heart... and that you are loved, you are worthy, you are enough... just as you are, and you make me so proud.
💙 

Momma

just needed to tell you that I love you so damn much, always, my mi̱ko, that will never end... and I'm proud of you... and you deserve the world and everything good. I miss you, every second of every day. You are always on my mind and in my heart. *extra extra tight hug, drops a gentle kiss on your forehead*. You are my whole world kiddo. Ahhh fuck someone is cutting extra strong onions in here or something....
I love you my little jakedaw, my brilliant shining son, love you endlessly.
💙🫂💙🫂💙🫂💙🫂💙🫂💙

All the lamps in your room can be controlled by an app. You can turn them off and on, save different settings, change colors, even put them to music lol.

Σ´αγαπώ, γιός μου. Πάντα και για πάντα...
(I think that's right?? 😭)

You know I'll always be here for you.. and nothing will make me not care and not love you kiddo
Mom for life, no matter what.

Tis the season!



I know you aren't a fan, though you might like one from dark chocolate if you have a craving? But I'm thinking of toasty drinks that would be a good replacement... cider? But that's actually more sugar cause fruit juice. Chai? Peppermint tea? I'm looking at the mandarins on the counter, spiced citrus tea... we'll figure it out. Sorry 😭, I just don't want you to be (or feel) left out. I'll make you whatever you would like. 💙

I believe, and Siya does too, that you were always meant to be my son. I know you are. We just had to go through hell to find each other, and I guess go through hell again for you to come home. You are worth it though kiddo. You are worth everything. I Love you with all that I am dear heart, love you more than life. Hope you are doing ok
*hugs* 

💙

Every year we go to a tree farm and cut down a Christmas tree and get pumpkin donuts and apple cider and pet the animals. We always end up with the fatest tree ever. Then, and this is the best part, we shove it in the back of my car. Sometimes they're too tall so the hatch won't shut so we just tie it closed lol.

Don't ever be ashamed of who you are or the things and people you love. I am proud of who you are and everything you do and aspire to do. I am so fiercely proud to have you as my son, and I love you so gods damned much.

There is an evergreen tree growing in the median of hwy 26 just north of here. It's the lone singular tree for a long stretch. Every year people decorate it for Christmas. I don't know who, or when they do it, I've never actually seen anyone... but every year like clockwork, decorations appear. Earlier in the week it just had a reindeer, but today it had ribbon and a bunch of Christmas balls. I've always wanted to stop and put something on. Maybe we could do that?

Life can go fuck itself, I refuse to let you go. I love you too much to ever let you go. I wish you could come home for the holidays. Wouldn't that be the ultimate gift for us both.

I made you this 😭

 

I was thinking.... I'm not that great yet, but I wanna attempt to make a Christmas stocking... for you. Probably won't get one done for this year, your art takes precedence. But definitely next year. Anway, I Love You, I'm proud of you, drink water, stay safe, and smile at least once for me 💙🫂💙