Happy happy birthday!!!!

You are not a burden.
You are not unworthy.
You are not too much or difficult to love.
You don't have to earn your place in my life, in this home, in this world. You are my son... You belong here simply because you exist.
Your presence matters.
Your life is precious.
You make this world a better place, and my life better, just by being in it.
You have been through so much, but none of that-none of what you went through-changes this truth: You deserve love and care. Your presence is a privilege and an honour. You can be your beautiful, imperfect self.
You are loved, you are cherished...
And you are every bit worth it.
💙 So please don't sacrifice yourself for abusive people who don't actually love you or deserve you... 

COME FIND ME KIDDO!! Your safety is more important than anything else. There's only one you, and you're my only child. You are irreplaceable dear heart. I love you... can't lose you kiddo, I need you too, so damn much Love you always and forever
Momma 💙

Hey kiddo, happy birthday...

To start... Siya wanted me to tell you she loves you. Now gifts! I got you PJO merch for Christmas, soooooo for your birthday I made you HP merch lol! They're hiding a secret though, for you to find.

I got you various books on engineering, but like, the build fun stuff type

A journal, but it uses craft paper so you can sketch in it too

Siya told me you liked checkers.... so...
It even has a little pouch for the pieces that rolls up inside the board.

And, uhmmmmm, I got you a whale? It's a bracelet, but it comes with info on a whale and you can track him online and see where he's at etc

And finally! I made you an art, of one our favourite rp moments... so get on love, we're going flying

Made you a short video

I'm just going to say that as long as I am alive, you will always be loved, and you will always have a special place in my heart, you will always be my family, and this will always be your home. I'm so proud of you Jakob. I'm not giving up on you... I'm not letting go... not of you, not of hope.. because this is not an impossible dream. We still remain. I'm still here, still your momma, and you will always be my son.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I hope you are ok. I love you, my jakedaw, always have and always will.

On this day, 18 years ago when you were born, this was the NASA picture of the day

 

 17th Birthday
Christmas was ch 219 or 252
Other stuff/sneak peeks 

You are a legal adult at 18, and I know you know how to disappear, lovebug, you get out ok? Come here, or I will come get you. Grab your ID/passport, your meds and some cash. Anything else can be replaced... you are irreplaceable though. She is not worth your life.You are worth so so so much more than that, and you have so many people who love you, and you have a home... a safe place here. *hugs*. Be safe please, remember that there is always hope, and remember I love you.

Just hold on dear heart, hold on tight, don't let go, don't give up. Don't let her win. The greatest revenge for all the years of neglect and abuse is to survive, escape, and heal and find peace and happiness, and love. Stay safe and remember that I love and care about you so very much, there is so much waiting here for you. I believe in you, have faith in you, and am so damn proud of you. Remember that there is always hope, even if it doesn't seem like it. There are brighter days, a better life, a life of peace and safety, so many hugs, and so much laughter ahead. I know you can do this mi̱ko.
I love you, always have and always will.
*infinite hugs*
Momma
💙🫂💙

For you other lovely people out there... those that know me and this situation, those that don't.... I am asking a favor... please pray for my kiddo, that he's safe, that he makes it out the other side of this, that he makes it home. Please... just... gods... please. Love you all. Thank you. 

 
Christmas post is ch 219

Hi everyone.

I'm asking... begging... please say a prayer to whoever you worship, or just out into the universe... please, for J... that he is ok, that he will be safe, that he will make it out of this hell.

Please.... with all my heart, please...

Please

#my son

• #miko #please pray for him #even

siya has lost contact #please pray for us #abuse #emotional abuse #child abuse

Merry Christmas

*tiptoes into room, drops kiss on your forehead, pokes you in ribs*
Psssstttttt.... J.... wake up sleepyhead, it's Christmas morning!

Merry merry Christmas kiddo!!

Christmas is my favourite holiday, cause I love giving gifts to the people I love 💙.

There is a Christmas folder in the dbox (not everything is posted here). There's also a 2nd folder that's self explanatory, but not exactly Christmas related, has a couple of things you might have seen already, some you haven't, a video or two :] . It's important to me.

I guess start small and work up!

You requested merch, so merch you shall have 😌
I got you a camp halfblood pin, and Percy and Annabeth pops.

I got you some shiny things cause you're my jakedaw. Ok technically one isn't shiny, but it is a lovely ocean shade of blue.

Shiny.... it's a worry ring, you can rotate the one band if you are stressed or anxious

Food things lol..... I said I'd get you a variety of hot sauces!! I'm here to make good on that!

But also.... I managed to find your favourite flavour.... black currant ☺️

Uhmmm... there's a couple of gifts from your favourite movie. I won't post them here but they are in dbox. Also in there are a few less "fun" practical gifts.... but in addition to the Architecture books, are some books on mechanical engineering (and one in aerospace), and some drafting/drawing tools and a drawing board.

Ok back to the fun stuff 😌

I found these little 3d wood puzzle kits... one is a steam train, and they had a double decker bus. Was a no brainer, had to get for you 😅

And it is tradition in this house, everyone gets Lego...

Ok, big stuff. Firstly... because you absolutely are a delight...

But I asked Siya for help and she suggested fashionable clothing, but I have zero fashion sense for myself, and even less for teen boys, which I guess I need to get with the program lmao! I came to the conclusion that, because of that (and the fact that my mom always sends me clothes that I don't like and don't fit)... I'm just going to take you on a bit of a shopping spree, that way you get clothes you love... and maybe I learn something about fashion 😂😭😅.

  

Yeah, merry Christmas dumbass, love you 💙

Oh but! Not done yet. There's some gifts relating to one of your hobbies. Some are small... I figured, since you broke your foot... the extra support would probably be good? Pic in dbox will make sense of that. And on to the biggest gift... I know Dee said you constantly watch videos on youtube, and I figured since not a lot of people knew about this hobby... and she didn't approve... well idk if you've ever had the chance to go to an actual professional production. Which would be a travesty. And me? I absolutely approve, and love that you love this, and support you 1000000%.... so I got you (well both of us cause of course I'm going with) an OBT season pass... there's some screenshots in the dbox that explain more, but it's 3+ performances, and early access to the best seats in the house... You deserve it dear heart.

And last but not least! The art. I'm sorry this is the only one I got done 😭. I just finished it. I know that's disappointing, I'm sorry 😞. I have ideas for others, and I will still do them for you. For her birthday or valentine's or both. I tried to really push myself on this one. I hope you love it though 😭 Full res plus some extras (full dark... wallpapers I realize you can't use right now 🤦🏻‍♀️) is in dbox.

There's a couple of other things that will remain surprises.... nothing big... you'll see. I love you J, more than there are stars in every universe. I love you endlessly. So Merry Christmas lovebug. *biggest, tightest, hug ever*; and Merry Christmas to you too Siya.

Momma 💙

PS: remember to hit both folders in the dropbox 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

PPS: Love you dearly, son of mine. Love you miko, my little jakedaw, my dear heart. Love you so fucking much. I'm not letting go. Never ever
💙🫂💙🫂💙🫂💙🫂💙🫂💙🫂💙🫂

I put those both on YouTube if that's easier. 

vid 1
vid 2

Merry Christmas Eve! Ehhheheheeeeheheeeee
Excited for tomorrow.
Love you kiddo

Are you excited about Christmas? I'm excited. 😌

Christmas also reminds me of the prank gift/SAT words post Jim made... which sadly, I could not find on tumbr 😭. I did save this though 😅




But in the spirit of that post, I got husband a prank gift.... giant 11x11 inch post-it notes. Funny but useful!! 🤭

One day you'll have to remind me to tell you about the time I prank gifted my sister's boyfriend...

*holds you close and doesn't let go*
Love you more than there are stars in the universe. My little jakedaw