IDEK what to say right now.  I feel about how Jim looks.  I'm glad you're on the West coast and not in DC.

Remember, if you need me for any reason at all, just say the word and I will be there.

At least I have one good thing in my life... you.  Love you kiddo 💙

Was downtown, talking with someone about an art thing and the subject of college came up, and I was telling them about you and how you wanted to be an architect...  and I'd looked at this at one point.... but according to them, the architecture program at PSU is exceptional.  It's easily accessible by transit...  and... you know, I uhmm... have a college fund set up for you... yeah...

*sigh* stuff I'd wanted to talk to you about but thought we had more time, and I figured that was probably a given anyway considering that I'm literally your momma/adopting you.  Also, gap semesters/years are a good thing... especially when we have so many museums to visit, whales to watch, stars to see, and shows to binge (meaning I'm not going to be all haahaahahaaa you must go straight back into the school grind, I want you to rest a bit, to heal... I've learned things.. but they can wait till another post).

I hope that I haven't said or done anything wrong or upsetting or angering.  I'm navigating without a compass here, with nothing to really guide me.  I know I fuck up sometimes...  and I own those, and am sorry.  And I'm not saying it feels like I have!  Just that, if I have, I'm sorry.

Sorry...  This is such a weird, disjointed post today, gods.  I'm in a weird and slightly terrified headspace with election day.  Too much stress.  I'm going to end up stress cleaning the bathroom tonight... or eating all the leftover halloween candy. 

Just....  the most important thing, is that I love you, more than anything in this world, more than life.  Always have, and forever will... and I am so fucking proud of you... never stopped being, not once.  *♾️ hugs*

💙

Momma

Just Call My Name, I'll Be Your Home

Uhmm...  it's been kind of an extra emotional day?  So just....   *wraps you in a extra tight, extra warm, mom hug* I love you, gods I love you so much, and I miss you... every second of every day... and I wish you were here, more than anything. 💙

I will never ever give up on you, because you are worth fighting for. Please don't give up on me. I will see you make it here. Remember that there is always hope, always a way through, even when it seems like there isn't, and you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I promise you though, you will make it here, and this will all be worth it in the end. I love you with all that I am and ever will be mi̱ko. Just hold on for me. 💙🫂💙

Here is a little Oregon factoid for you.... 😭

A dead sperm whale washed up on shore in Florence OR in 1970, and in an effort to get rid of the body, OHD/ODOT blew it up with dynamite, throwing bits of rotting whale 800 feet away and causing a massive stink (literally). It was even parodied in a Simpsons episode. There's a commemorative plaque at the beach, we can totally visit it if you want. I promise it smells better now. Actually might be worth visiting, there's the Sea Lion Caves, and Heceta Head lighthouse in Florence.  If we do the roadtrip from CA to here thing, it's technically on the way.

But I need, J, to tell you
That I love you
It never ends... 

Hey kiddo. I hope you are doing ok. Got a new french press for if you want coffee (if you prefer something else though, not a problem, I can use it for me too). I found a supplier for black currant ice lollies! What else.... oh, my IG is 50% dance now. I hope school and other things are going well. I love you and miss you lovebug. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere.  Sending you infinite hugs.
💙💙💙🫂🫂🫂🫂💙🫂💙🫂💙🫂🫂🫂🫂💙💙💙💙💙🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂💙
 

Coercive control is now included in the California penal code under domestic violence as any form of manipulation that is meant to control a person's actions. Including but not limited to threats of physical violence.

I love you.
That's all... just, I love you
💙 

Laughs in spice

Ps: put all the jimtober arts on dbox for you, just in case you were interested.

Gods I miss you....  so much.

I love you mi̱ko, endlessly.

💙🫂💙

I'm officially making Thursday, throwback Thursday.  It'll be fun....  and embarrassing... for me.

So happy halloween and here's, what.... 11-12 year old me??? Fuck IDK, anyway... here's me as Cleopatra for halloween.  Enjoy, laugh even.  I don't mind... in fact, that's the point. 😌💙