Come here kiddo, *extra extra times three tight hug*.  And I love you... with all my heart mi̱ko, and I love you with all my soul, my little jakedaw... and I love you with all l am and all I will ever be Jakob.  I just want you to make it here, to me... so l can give you the tightest hug I possibly can, and all the love that I can possibly give you, and all the good things you deserve.

Ps: left you a video and stuff in dbox...

And There Is A Silence So Soft It's Only Memory

I'm not sure if you still come read these.  I know you used to every day.

It always made me feel better, knowing you were there with me every day, holding on to me 💙. You're my hero and my rock too ya'know?  You are the one thing I love and value most in my life.  I leave my heart here, for you my son... it's yours anyway.

I'm still going to post these every day, because I told you once that I would make sure you knew I loved you every damn day for the rest of my life.. and because I hope you come back to reading them daily... and read all the ones I've left, and know that you are loved....  always

💙🫂💙

Momma

I made this dumb little owl for you. You'll have to give it a name.

 

I guess we're getting hit by a stupid bomb cyclone and it's going to dump record amounts of rain. So here's the maple with all it's fall colours, because it probably won't have any leaves by the end of the week.

 

PS: working on Christmas art... you're a total BAMF king mi̱ko. Love you.

I will alway love you, I will always cherish you, I will always be here for you, and I will always be so fucking proud of you.  I hope you see this....  and know just how much you mean to me, how much I care about you and love you... more than there are stars in every fucking universe.

I don't know how often you read these anymore, but I left some stuff on dbox, and I told Siya about it too.  I love you...  I'm terrified of losing you. Hold on to me kiddo.. just..  fuck... sorry

I love you

You matter... so much

Do you know....  weʼre coming up on a one year anniversary... where I told Jim to stop asking Toby for dating advice.  Gods... I miss you kiddo, and I love you, with all that I am.  You're too important to lose, lovebug.  You're my whole world. I Love you so much it powers the brightest stars in the universe. 💙🫂💙

I wish telepathy was real. *we could do the mind talk thing.... love you mi̱ko*
Or magic... or a time stone. I'd go back and stop this from happening. Can I just... use the damn time stone now? 😢
None of us deserved this... especially you.
God I miss you. I love you, my little jakedaw, always. 

 

Throwback Thursday!

In 2003, a group of online friends got together and went to Prescott Arizona (for Siya, it was a car group!). The Texas peopled joined up with us New Mexico people for the trip. We stopped at the Jackrabbit Trading Post in Joseph City Arizona on old route 66... because it has a 10 ft tall jackrabbit statue.... so naturally we had to take a group photo... and naturally I loudly declared it was mine, ran ahead, and climbed on top of the thing. We were a fun and wacky group. I'll have to take you on the whole 4 corners tour one day... Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado and Utah. Full of national and state parks, mountains, and wild desert beauty.

No star too distant,
no journey too long 

-my love for you, my son,
outshines and outlasts them all

Behold.... Stickscalibur!!!!!

Just Tell Me How To Keep Breathing

Don't mind me...

I'm just sitting here, on the bathroom floor...

Listening to the rain

 

I need you too, you know