Monday, December 21, 2009

Live Unplanned: Redux

Well it's been almost a year now. January 29th I was put on an antibiotic and had a severe reaction to it. Everything went downhill from there. Panic attacks, depression, severe pelvic pain, bladder irritation and pain. No one could find a reason, no one could find anything wrong. Test after test, hospital trip after trip, 8 ER visits, 2 urologists and 3 months later I was in surgery and woke up to the news that I had Interstitial Cystitis. It is incurable, and mostly untreatable. It takes months to a year or more for medications to start working, if they work at all. My life, in ruins. No more could I have the foods and drinks I enjoyed. No more could I go on long photo hikes with my now husband. No more could I take long rides in the car. No more could I work a job. Ruins.

It's been a very long and hard road and while it's better, there is still no end in sight, no end to the suffering. Sometimes I feel ok, almost normal. Then some days I am in pain and some days I can barely do anything from fatigue and lack of energy. I cope though. I try to live, It's all I can do.